The Most Difficult Thing In Starting My Own Stuff I Have Realized Is To Conquer Fear.

When I woke up this morning, when I was not certain about what how to make my tools more and more convenient, the unstable feeling of fear is overwhelming me I found, that introducing money and life in a normal job is seducing me, I feel the usual visitor of my fear, my head began to shrink, as if I am not able to step even simply just one step forward, regret the thing is also attacking me, what if I did not at first reject the job offer of 300000 CNY even though they simply want me to perform as a passer-by, let me work for Americans, let me go anytime without any Labor law warranty, to cancel contract with me any time, am I in that a low position as to have to obey that kind of people, and even have to listen to orders?

These doubts keep disturbing me whenever I am trying to proceed when I have began the tasks I assigned myself which I still see no profitable income coming. Are startups all like this? I begin to wonder, what can I do to change my situation, I am a developer, was a developer for others, I did nothing profitable other than job for many years, am I able to even set up a comfortable environment for myself in my cozy home? do I have to go to Shanghai the place in my 30s' to obey orders that are mean. These thoughts keep spinning on my mind.

But what to do next? What can be the next thing that I can see in the future I can live on? It's hard, so I started the virtual machine server I created 2 years ago, it already does not work well, the most hateful thing about a VMware virtual machine is the network, which I set up OK, but now due to my own environment change, I have to set up once again.

Quickly I installed Ubuntu for Windows SubSytem, all set, though a little bit different from CentOS, I have a better tool to embrace commandline automations. As to what to do next, I know it won't be simply 5 mins or 10 mins to finish, but at least, I am moving on, as to the job thing, I still should keep an eye on the market, till I find the one that I am satisfied with.